It is time for all you lefties and in-betweens to get on the bandwagon and quit complaining.
The Trump administration is about to unleash its newest weapon (other than the Sharpie) against what some people perceive as rising temperatures. The words “warming” refers now only to your feet or hands on a cold day, which is why you wear socks, right? We know that temperatures fluctuate and always have in the past. And secondly, what the temperature feels like is really subjective. When I sit in my fitness center’s sauna, it is 185 degrees; I feel quite comfortable. If I were a chicken, I would be cooked in no time at all (but I’m not).
Temperatures in the winter can be a little lower and a little higher in the summer at times. A little math shows that it all evens out. But back to the point I am making that temperature is relative. This is what Einstein was saying in his Relativity Theory. He was almost as smart as our President, who is bigger (he has a Smart Scale too) (and better) than smart: Genius. The first thing he did was to vanquish the rise in temperature to history. We also know that carbon dioxide is a good thing, as the more of it, the better (and more bigger) plants grow and there isn’t enough food in the world as we can see in the Middle East, even though there is “no starvation.” The newest weapon to rising temperatures (an oxymoron for those who don’t understand) is a new Smart Thermometer. My source (I can’t disclose) says that every family will receive one of these to your doorstep (or door if you don’t have one). Just like the Atomic Clock, which isn’t radioactive even, the Smart Thermometer, which is connected to a Central Government Office at EPA or wherever it may end up, tells you what the temperature actually is. Since our perception of temperature is based on too many factors for us to really understand, the CGO will adjust our thermometer to the True Temperature. This will end forever any confusion that some people, mostly on the fringes, might have about changes (upps, that just slipped in; must have been a typo) to our climate, which is very stable just like our President, who is even more so. The Smart Thermometer, just like the Smart Thermostat, will tell us how we should feel. We know that sweating is just a way our bodies regulate their temperature, so get used to it!
Paul Chew, Otto