It started with a scripture: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:3-4
That scripture turned into seven weeks of etiquette classes, one day per week for young ladies in Macon County. The plan was hatched by Angelica Barranco, the children’s director at First Baptist Church Highlands, and her able associate Wendy Latta, the church’s resident go-to expert for anything creative, and it took off from there. The sixth class hosted 22 ladies, both young and old, for a formal tea.
Each week, a lively hour-long class emphasized the need to demonstrate respect for others, even regarding others as more important than oneself, as Philippians states. The instructor defined etiquette as Respect, Art, and Grace, and remembered those components by the little acronym, RAG. She shared that while there are many rules of etiquette, every single rule is based on showing another respect (the R in RAG).
The A in RAG stands for art, or the rules of etiquette. Most etiquette books are far larger than a good, thick dictionary and are far too heavy to carry around. The art, or rules, are to be known and practiced after a good soaking in the balm of showing respect. Lastly, the G in RAG is the word grace, meaning the more one practices using respect and art on others, the more graceful and gifted you become in practicing etiquette.
The hour-long classes were followed by an hour of crafts to cement into the mind and heart all that had been covered. Posture and attentiveness, eye contact, undivided attention, introductions, and volunteering one’s name were followed by making hats for the future tea, when the lessons would be practiced as a group.
Table etiquette included creating a living placemat holding utensils, plates, and cups shown in their correct places. Instructions covered showing respect for the waiter and certainly for each parent represented.
Gratitude and gifts are part of etiquette
Too many people today fail to verbalize, “Thank You.” To show gratitude, each student designed her own thank you cards and addressed them to individuals who needed edification by written communication. RSVP and regrets were also taught, so that party invitations would be responded to promptly and with a grateful tone.
House guesting instruction was followed by creating the perfect hostess gift. A weekend guest, so common in the mountains, should know to bring a small present for the host. Mrs. Latta designed and provided an acrylic, stand-alone frame that the girls decorated with paste-on cut-outs, including scripture. Once decorated, they placed them in beautiful gift bags with a little note so they were ready to give away.
Clothing and conversation
When Mrs. Barranco pitched her idea for seven weeks of etiquette classes, the church’s pastor suggested a lesson on dressing modestly. After that class, each student created her own paper dolls showing outfits, some modest and some immodest, proving they actually knew the difference.
Conversation practice took place by throwing a ball back and forth – with students asking questions or providing answers. A reply in this “game” was information to keep the game going. If the recipient did not reply with words of information, the ball went in the pocket or fell dead on the floor. Once someone discovered someone else’s interests, a lively conversation developed.
In every class, 4-5 adult women from the weekly Ladies Bible Study rotated in and out as role models and “practice partners” with the young ladies.
The culmination of the etiquette classes was that the young ladies participated in a formal tea, for which they had to RSVP to an invitation, determine what to wear, serve themselves appropriately, respond correctly to the host and waiters, converse with guests at their tables, and follow-up with thank you notes.
Class success has First Baptist Church Highlands considering future etiquette classes for boys and young men as well.