“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5a
As Mother’s Day approaches each year, it brings with it an abundance of emotion for me. Once upon a time, there was a couple who so deeply longed to have a child. There was a very special lady who was having a baby she was not able to keep, and so she gave the gift of her child to the couple, and they became mom and dad. That is the story we told our son until he was old enough to ask her name. Then we set up a time for him to meet the special lady who, he would learn, was his aunt.
The journey was long to finally arrive at that fairy tale “happy ending,” with many bumps along the way. After seven years of trying to conceive, we had exhausted all resources, and then discovered it would not be possible. I longed to adopt, but my husband was against that at first. He worried that there were too many unknowns. My grandmother told me if I couldn’t conceive naturally, perhaps it was meant I was not to have children at all. I was crushed. Brokenhearted. But my faith was still strong. God must have another plan, so I would wait on the Lord.
So, when my sister-in-law told us of a teenage granddaughter of a coworker of hers who had an unplanned pregnancy and wanted to give the baby up for adoption, I just knew that was our answer. And my husband agreed to it. It would be a private adoption, a baby girl, due in December. My answer had come. We made all the preparations, and then during the week of Thanksgiving we traveled across three states to meet the expectant mother and sign the papers.
We arrived at the hotel late that night, and we were very excited for the morning’s meeting. But when we called from the hotel the next morning, we were informed that there would be no meeting. They would be keeping the baby. And how could I blame her? I knew of the longing to be a mother. But, why this for us?
We made the trip back home and went to church the following Sunday. My faith was quite shaken as we sat there through a most beautiful baby dedication service. How cruel that seemed. Why would God do that? Take away our chance to be parents. My chance to be a mom. Was I to remain childless?
I remember sitting in the rocker in the pink bedroom with the unicorn and rainbow wallpaper border, and opening my Bible to read again of Hannah’s anguished cry (1 Samuel 1). “Bitterness of soul” was what I felt. Hadn’t I, too, cried out to God? I’d asked him for a baby to raise for Him. Was I unworthy? Was God‘s plan that we would never be parents? Would I never be a mom?
I was broken. I got laid off from my job since I was too distraught to work. Caring co-workers would ask about the adoption and I’d lose it. Empty and lost, I was at home when my sister came to the door one day. She knew of our story and shared our grief. But little did we know, she was five months pregnant. She got pregnant during negative circumstances and was certain she would be unable to keep her baby. My family of nonbelievers had agreed to help her pay for an abortion.
In the midst of it all, God was working. God knew. She could not go through with the act of an abortion knowing we longed so to have a child. She knew of the girl we did not get. She wanted us to adopt her baby.
What joy that I cannot describe. Our son was born in May. A blessing to us that came at a great cost for another. A treasure; an answered prayer. He was born on a Thursday, and we took him to church on that Sunday, Mother’s Day. The most beautiful gift from God, and we dedicated him to the Lord that very Sunday.
Author Jody Landers said it well, “A child born to another woman calls me Mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me.”
My story did not have the same answer as that of Hannah. But God worked a mighty miracle nonetheless. It may be different in your story, as well. But God is faithful when we are fully surrendered to Him. He gave up His only Son “so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16). He cares for us. He can be fully trusted.
Our son, Justin, has grown into a fine young man. He is a minister now. God is using him in mighty ways. We thought we rescued him. Truth is, God is using him to rescue us. And many others.
Pictured top: CYNDI AND JUSTIN Bohner